Age is catching on me too fast. I didn't even have time to sit down and ponder of what's coming around and take a look at the things around me. The visible changes occuring right before me. A sudden feeling of lost without the presence of my eldest sister who constantly reminds me to always choose the right path and keep my feet on the ground. I started to miss her lately because we love to have lunch dates together during my school vacation. We were like good girlfriends. I still remember distinctly on the day i had my napfa test and she came down to support me. I was surprised. She screamed out my name and ask me to run, knowing that i am almost giving up. I had the most wonderful eighteenth birthday when she came to school with faizal to surprise me. Before that, we even had midnight celebration at swensen, just the two of us. I am blessed to have her for this short nineteen years of my life. She left me eleven days after my nineteenth birthday. I am filled with guilt because that very day, i left my phone in my bag and was unaware of what's going on. I came home and no one is at home. I got the news, called faizal to drive me there and everything was too late. Too late to even hear her last words. It was even sadder to see dad crying helplessly on the streets. I am so sorry. I don't know what's got into me. I am so much in tears while i'm typing this post. The fact that i haven't got over her death. It was such a huge blow i dealth with last year. I wonder what comes next. Life is starting to get too unpredictable.
I need you, pidon.
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